The Vets’ Head

The Veterans Head of the River race, for mature oarsmen, is held annually in March on the same 4 ¼ mile course on the Tideway as the Boat Race. The most favourable stream is found where the river is deepest. There is a large island, Chiswick Ait, up river from Hammersmith Bridge, about half way along the course. Matthew Pinsent famously said, “Pain is just information,” after winning an Olympic gold medal.

The eight passed the ait at a very good rate
Heading down Hammersmith reach.
The cox steered a line both cunning and fine
Just where the channel is deep.

Although we were strong this race is quite long
‘specially if you’re long in the tooth.
It was now that we needed kind words to be feeded
To remind us the power of our youth.

The cox, with attack, cried, “You’re bringing it back;”
To lie is part of his art.
The crew all responded, blended and bonded
Each man was playing his part.

But we didn’t go faster and sensing disaster
He tried, ”You’re all fucking crap.”
Well, psychology’s fine; it’s all in the mind
But I didn’t think we were that.

All thought goes to pain when blood leaves the brain
For muscles that need it the more.
Discount that sensation, it’s just information
Pretend we’re having a ball.

Don’t let yourselves down it’s better to drown;
Now was the time to be brave.
Think of the bar and beer in a jar
And memories to take to the grave.

When you’re a Vet it’s better than sex
To be able to say that you’ve won.
You’ll talk a good race for many a year
And you won’t get this chance when it’s gone.

So this is the story of Vets out for glory
Just one more test while still living.
To race on the Thames with its currents and bends
And to your crew your best to be giving.

©Peter Morley